.happy thoughts.

When are we going to have kids? 

People ask me that all of the time.  I absolutely can't wait to have a baby. Like, CAN NOT WAIT!  I think about this topic on a regular basis. It's not that I don't think we are ready, I feel like we could handle it, but I guess there are a few things left to do before we are ready to be selfless.  Also, I'm a PERFECTIONIST.  I want everything to be perfect for my future child.  The crazy thing is, I work with kids everyday... I realize that is not possible. I will never have it together enough to claim we are a hundred percent 'ready'.  In a way, I feel like you're not actually ready until it happens.  It's a learn as you go type of thing.  I sincerely feel like all parents do the best that they can... but then again, I live in a fantasy land.   

Anyway... I guess I always thought I'd own a house, and a yard (with a creek), and a swing set before I have a child.  I totally realize a baby doesn't need a creek and a swing set... or even for their parents to be the owners of where they live. It's silly, really. It all boils down to me not personally being where I want to be when I bring a child into this world.  I definitely want to be through with school and have a nice little career underway.  Which is potentially only 2 years away.  I'd also like to be living in a state that we will be living in for ... well.. potentially forever. (that sounds so long and scary)

There is so much to think about and the type A in me wants to think we will have all of our little ducks in a row before we bring a life into this world.  The realist in me knows the truth. 

With that being said I will say, I don't think I have ever look forward to something so much.  I think about their names and what they'll look like.  I wonder out of Lar and I who will be the good cop and who will be the bad cop.  I sincerely hope I'm the good cop, but I fear it may have to be the other way around.  I hope they'll have freckles like Lar. I hope they'll be a little stubborn like me... or a lot.  I wonder if they'll play sports or instruments... or maybe both.  I think about Lar coaching their little league teams and me baking treats, with them, for the whole team.  I think about how things will be different for our marriage once we have a child, but that I know we can make it perfect for us. I think about teaching them right from wrong and teaching them good habits. Most importantly I hope that he, or she, or they will be kind to themself/themselves and others.  I even think as far as the rough days of crying and boo-boos and nothing going the way I'd like for it to go, and envision myself taking a breath and remembering these are the days that I've been dreaming about literally for years.  

I think about attending all of their big events.  And I think about them getting home from practice or rehearsal and us all eating as a family (I know that one is easier said than done... but this is a dream).  I think of them playing outside lots and with electronics not so much. I consider that as they grow up we will fight and sometimes I will be "mean" and they'll "hate me", but I look forward to knowing I am doing what is best for them.  I hope that my children will be best friends with each other and know that I'll love them no matter what.  

The thought of having a family with the man that I have been in love with since he was a boy is the most happy thought I have ever dared to dream. 

So, although I do not have an exact timeline of how this will all play out... I do have ideas and dreams of how our life will be.  Until then I will continue to change their names every other week and ask Lar what he thinks of our child's newest name of the moment. 


These are my happy thoughts.
Rant=over. 

Us... just thinking about our future baby.

(or hating the movie we were watching...)

   

     

Time for some new adventures.

We got a new car! Yay.  Exciting times. For more than two years now Lar and I have been driving around in a mini van.  A 2003 Mazda MPV, to be more specific.  When Larry decided to take a traveling job about 26 months ago I was going to buy out the Toyota Corolla I had been leasing since the time I had originally moved to Nashville. My amazing, beautiful (insert more positive adjectives) stepmom, Sherry, had past away 6 months prior to making the big bad traveling decision.  The van, which we later named "da beast" was Sherry's car. When we decided on the traveling gig my dear old dad suggested that we take the van for our travels.  A free car that comes equipped with it's own guardian angel... yes please! 

(The beast literally carried our life from home to home.)

It was perfect.  The van fit all of our stuff in it, and got us from point A to point B.  Since the time that my husband, our dog, and I have been traveling with da beast... we have seen so much.  Now, it has not been all good times.  We, of course, get made fun of by most people we encounter, our friends, and our family because we, in fact, drive a mini van.  Random people also ask me all the time if I have kids, after seeing my whip. Nope, just me and my husband and our dog roll around in this bad boy.  I think if you asked Lar or me at any given time we would say we have grown toe LOVE our van! We would obviously like a younger looking car, but it doesn't bother either of us.  I, however, by no means realized that I was actually emotionally attached to da beast. 

(Our final road trip in the beast... back to Nashville.)

When we moved back to Nashville we realized we were going to have to switch the plates over soon which would cost at least $1,500... aka a down payment on a car with less than 200,000 miles.

We have been looking at Jeeps here and there for a while now.  Lar would love to have a Wrangler, but as a practical little wifey wife (scary that I was the practical one) I couldn't justify a Wrangler in my head. Of course, they are cool, but cool alone wouldn't convince me to get rid of our precious Mazda.  I figured whatever car we decided on would be the car we will have when we decide to have a kiddo or four.  I personally do not want to be rolling around in a wrangler with a car seat in the back.  That's just me. 


About 3 weeks ago we took our lovely, little mini van to Carmax to get appraised and they offered us $300. for it. WHAT THE? I almost died. Does this person know about the memories we have had in this thing.  It also has over 200,000 miles on it because it's freakin' awesome. We left Carmax feeling a little sad that we weren't pulling out of there in a BRAND NEW (to us) JEEP! Of course, we saw 800,000 Jeeps on the road that day.

The search continues.

Two days ago I decided to go to a Mazda dealership and see what they could offer us for da beast.  After I received a better offer than STUPIDMAX (carmax)I started to look at the used cars they had on the lot.  I was by myself, and told Stephen, my car salesman, what Lar and I wanted.  I said, I want a white jeep patriot, and he wants a black jeep patriot.  He said, "well... we have a silver 2011 on the lot." :) This was obviously perfect because that just shows how well Lar and I like to meet in the middle! Black+White=Silver... right?

I didn't talk any numbers with Stephen at the time and told him I'd be back with my husband (the muscle of the operation) later that night.  I did some finance research ALL DAY LONG when I got home, which gave me a definite leg up when Lar and I went back to Nelson Mazda.  

When Lar and I arrived at the dealership I walked in as if I owned the place.  To my dismay Stephen wasn't there as he had promised... jerk.  We test drove our future car, and obviously we loved it! We talked details... surprisingly I did most of the talking... because I'm more of a bitch than Lar, obv.  We signed a gajillion papers.

While Lar was getting the insurance taken care of over the phone with progressive (thank you Flo), I went to da beast to change over all of our personal items.  All of a sudden... I became incredibly emotional.  Shocking, I know.  It is crazy, we have been planning to buy a new car for months and the time had come. I had been wanting a jeep SO BADLY! Every time I would see a Jeep, I wanted to become a criminal and hijack it... but I didn't (just to clarify). Now, it was time to say goodbye to the beast and I was literally crying.  I thought of all of the silly and amazing and perfect memories we had in this mini van.  When we drove from PA to OR I remember petting the dashboard (as you would pet a dog) saying, "good job beastie" each day that we would make it a little further across the country.  We were never quite sure if she was going to die out on us, but she never did. (tear)  My love and I had been fortunate enough to travel all across the country and it all of a sudden seemed as if I was signing those memories over to Nelson Mazda.

As I was out there for about 20 minutes the salesman came out to see that I wasn't "being mugged by a homeless person."  I told no, I'm okay... with tears literally streaming down my face. Awkward. 

                                  

(Saying goodbye to our precious Beastie Boo)

Shortly after I went back into the dealership Larry and I walk outside to leave with our new car.  I hugged the beast, and cried a little more.  Then I took a necklace that I had found in the car belonging to Sherry and hung it in my review mirror of our new car.  Lar and I talked on the way home about all of the memories we have had in da beast, and decided that we will have so many adventures in our new car.  We will think of the jeep as a mini beast.  That's when I came up with the name Wildabeast... or Wil('da beast').  She will be called Wilda... for short. Da Beast had served her purpose, and after a sad goodbye we look
forward to more adventures to come with Wilda!

(Welcome to our family Wildabeast!)

(Time for some NEW ADVENTURES!)