There are the obvious answers, such as communication, which is undoubtedly one of the ingredients to a long lasting relationship. I suppose there is not any one thing that keeps us coming coming back for more after all of this time, but there is one main thing, in my opinion, that sustains our love.
Love your journey.
You've heard it before. You'll hear it again. It's nothing too original, but it is undeniable.
I think it is so easy with constant accessibility to social media for couples (and individuals) to begin to feel that they are missing out. People are constantly on Instagram or Facebook. They are used to seeing they're friend's trip to Jamaica, or the new Beamer that their cousin just got, or a college friend getting engaged and having a beautiful diamond on her finger. Let's face it, we are a generation of over sharers (myself VERY included).
The problem I do see with this is, it seems to me that we are always looking through the perfect little lens of what others are willing to share of their lives. Guess what, people most likely aren't going to Instagram a video of them having a financial argument with their spouse and NO ONE'S life is perfect.
Another thought is, when you see a photo of your old gal pal's sparkling, new, engagement ring... just be happy for her. This is a happy time in her life. This does not necessarily mean every aspect of her life is sparkling, even if it is, just be happy for her journey while still appreciating your own.
A further observation is, to our generation, things=happiness. I sincerely believe that things and stuff is not what makes a relationship beautiful. We often look from the outside, inward on someone's life and perceive the things that they've acquired as their level of happiness. It's silly really.
Okay, social media rant OVER... (hopefully).
Back to loving your journey (maybe).
In my relationship, some of the moments that I hold dearest to my heart are our moments nothingness. I cherish our moments of gathering up all of our change (pennies included) to split a Dominoes pizza and cinnasticks. I sincerely adore the times that we have stayed in a hotel that serves breakfast because otherwise we weren't going to have enough money to eat on our way back from a trip.
Throughout our years together we have gradually worked together to make our lives a little more comfortable. We are always working toward one goal, and then another, and another. As a couple, my husband and I are not glamourous. We don't have a lot of 'stuff' to our names. What we do have is a journey full of moments.
The days that I am at school from 9am to 9pm and I come home to a meal on the stove and a husband who waited for me to eat dinner together, I truly appreciate the journey. I am so grateful to have had a long, hard day to help me see the beauty in those hours I have with him before we go to sleep.
I guess my advice is, it is not as easy to love the hard times, but it is absolutely beneficial. Love it all. Look for things in your day and in your journey to love. Be aware. Be grateful. Do your best to be thoughtful of your partner. Love reaching goals, but also find joy in striving toward those goals together.
LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR JOURNEY.
'the journey is the destination'
-Dan Eldon
Photos above after moving to Nashville over 5 years ago. When we had no money to go out... these are the things we did.
